Fight the FOMO

Let’s be real,

We’ve all sat in our beds a time or two, bawling our eyes out over seeing plans we weren’t invited to. We’ve also all felt the pit in our stomachs seeing mutuals on vacations, getting engaged, or doing something “cool”. If you were unable to identify it before, that is FOMO… otherwise known as “the fear of missing out”. It’s the belief that someone, somewhere, is doing something bigger and better than you. And it makes you feel like crap.

It sucks.

It really does. Deep down we know it’s not the plans, the vacation, or the engagements that are making us upset. It’s the feeling of not being good enough. It’s the insecurities that flood our minds the second we scroll too far. It’s our minds creating false narratives about how our friends feel about us, or flashbacks to other times we may have felt left out. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that nothing is personal. I mean, almost nothing. Be self aware, people.

But for the most part, there is always a reason why some people get things and others don’t. Let’s identify some FOMO triggers and how to fight off these horrible feelings.

Who gets FOMO?

Everyone. Everyone at some point or another has felt the effects of FOMO. It’s human nature to crave connection and validation. I bet there are dozens of scenarios dancing around your head right now, of times where you felt purposely excluded from something social. It’s completely normal.

Ages 13-25 are the hardest years to deal with FOMO. At this point, connection is key, but so is the need to keep up with others. Sometimes, we know we were better off cuddled up on our couch watching a movie, but the invite would have made us feel better. And posting about it on social media would make us feel ever cooler. Comparison is a thief.

Co-workers, large friend groups, even family members are all people that can make us feel this way. But enough about how horrible FOMO can be. Let’s learn how to fight it.

Expectation vs. Reality:

Think about a time you’ve gone out, posted tons of pictures, but actually had the worst time ever. Maybe you and your boyfriend were fighting the entire night, maybe your friend was causing drama. Maybe YOU were the drama. Whatever it may be, social media is always a fraction of reality. Half of the things we see are so fabricated it’s almost more of a lie than not.

Next time you see people at a “wild” social gathering, think to yourself: would I have had fun here? Did they have fun? What am I not seeing? (as opposed to what you are)

As our idol Alex Russo once said, “Everything is not what it seems”.

Is your MOHO effecting your FOMO?

I just made that up. I’ve been sitting & trying to think of a punny subtitle for about 15 mins. MOHO, now means (Mental Health) plus a couple of O’s.

But seriously, sometimes FOMO is not our fault. Sometimes our minds get the best of us. We find ourselves stuck in bed, isolating from potentially amazing friendships, social gatherings, and connections. It can be hard to want that, but not be ready for it mentally. I know the feeling.

Your mental health comes before anything. You will not be able to sustain positive connections until you believe you are ready for them. If you are suffering from mental health, you are not alone. Take a breath, work on you, and find what works. Everything falls on your timeline, babe. We don’t have to rush. Fun will always be there. You come first.

Find your fun

Would the plans you’re crying about even be fun for you? Or are you just looking for the ego boost?

Recently, I’ve discovered that my interests are a lot different than a lot of my friends. I’m completely in my grandma era. I don’t like to drink as often, I’m not into clubbing like I used to be, and my interests have changed. However, I still get upset seeing them out without me.

To help this, I’ve begun doing some deep thinking into my genuine interests and hobbies. Even if they are not “instagram worthy”, finding passions that I enjoy fill my cup more than an IG post ever will. Once your passions validate you more than comparison does, you’ve found your sweet spot. Find YOUR authentic fun and you’ve already won half the battle.

Gratitude is the right attitude

As soon as you feel that pit in your stomach, whip out your notes app. Write down the names of

5 friends you have

4 places you’ve been & enjoyed recently

3 things you love about yourself

2 things you’re looking forward to

And 1 positive affirmation

Reminding yourself of what YOU have can distract you from the things that you don’t. It’s easy to lose sight of all the abundance our life supplies us with. Writing your feelings down & reminding yourself of all the positives you possess can be a significant help.

Hello? We’re HUMAN.

FOMO is real. Like I said, it happens to everyone. Remind yourself that you are not alone. It’s an amazing privilege to be able to feel emotion, good or bad. It means we’re human. And just because you’re left out this time, doesn’t mean there hasn’t been, or will be so many amazing opportunities to feel connected in the future.

The most amazing thing about life is that everyone’s timeline is different. Your time will come if it is not right now.

Take action

Upset about plans being made without you? Make your own! The best way to cure a broken heart is to give it something to look forward to. Let other people’s plans INSPIRE you. Reach out to a likeminded friend and make plans for the future when you feel FOMO.

Bye-mo!

I am completely aware that all of this is easier said than done. But gaining perspective and the tools to help combat FOMO may be all we needed to feel confident again.

To recap, social media is FAKE, and your heart & mind are more important than anything else. Find what makes you happy and do it a thousand times.

No more sitting in bed, ladies. We can do the work. ❤️